Segun Adebayo hilariously describes a day on the MBA programme

Segun Hernandez Adebayo with his 'thinking hand' up

I'm Sir Hernandez and I welcome the MBA 11 class to the prestigious LBS. To me, the MBA is more than just a programme, it is a lifetime opportunity to learn, network and increase ones mental capacity with the best minds in the country.

I gained admission to MBA 8 but later deferred for 2 years in order to obtain additional work experience. Banking was promising but I felt I needed more. More to me means a lot of things but I assure you that you have definitely taken a step in the right direction. My colleagues have been talking about the value of the case study method, networking opportunities, SLA’s and all (too serious for my liking). I would focus on the component of my typical day.

I wake up around 3.00am in the morning but when I am energetically declined, I jump off the bed by 4 (that is if I have not been awakened by the nasally repetitive tune from my flat mate Omolayo or through Tizzle’s naija songs). Group meeting kicks off by 8.15 and late coming is not tolerated. By 7.45am, I and my guys ride off to school and I am welcomed in by Nono’s gaze at the watch (Nono never misses the 8.15am fine). (For Group 5, 8.15-8.30am attracts a N200 fine while 8.30am and above attracts a flat rate of N500).  

Group 5 members having lunch with Dr. Nubi

Today is a Monday, and Dr. Itunu just made a prepayment of N2, 500 for the week when she rushed in around 8.40am. Whizkid is working on his laptop (as he did all night) while Toyin starts the group ginger by yarning on Base of pyramid, subliminal seduction, triple breasted line, (meant bottom) and finally tries to connect it to the case under discussion. I am tempted to pass the offering basket. Uka silently watches at the background (after coming late), Jude quietly nods his head like the Chairman while Bolarinwa remains mute by the sideline. May Agoha steps in with the register and I check her out as usual (damn!!! pretty legs)

Tundun is up and doing as usual(after collecting my peck) and if something special is up today, we would get a treat of chocolates from Uddie. Gbemileke occasionally corrects Toyin while Nono meticulously follows every word Toyin utters for correction. Come 9.30am, we finally head into class. 

Segun Dada is trying to be noticed as usual, Tizzle is loudly yarning with Oyewale, Ayoola, Olaolu and the vertically challenged Kunle. Ozue is silently watching yesterday’s football highlight and Kunle rudely interrupts by talking about C. Ronaldo’s goal. 

Excuse me….ever pretty and sexy Azeezat tries to make an announcement and now we know that Niyi is getting married and Azeezat Ajibola just became a born again Christian (just kidding). Uzoma is sited quietly like Jackie Chan, Fiyin sweetly strokes my cassava rich shirt, Tomilola is forming busy by the side while Tolu (my seatmate) quickly makes a last minute check on the cases for the day. 

Dr. Obinna briskly walks in and welcomes us with his morning tea (test). Ibude quickly copies Babawale’s work and erroneously include his matric number (just kidding). Case facts time! Chika Ezeani smoothly bobo’s the lecturer, Suberu mentions something but nobody hears what he said. Nike is not left out, she passionately defends her point. Mitchelle counter argues and pretty Uju is also compelled to make a comment while Toyin finally summarizes all the points. 

Segun with Chibabe, Bola and Mobolaji

It is 10.45 and the olfactory nerves of Segun Dada are on point. We are having shawarma today, he proudly declares. Bola heads to the gazebo quietly, Nana asks her to buy an extra piece for her and Sem-Sem also says the same. Jude, Whizkid, Chukwuka, Mitchelle, Chika Amah and I head to the cafeteria for our usual morning tea. Occasionally, we are joined by Mobolaji and Funlola. At the gazebo, Bola clears the whole shawarma from the shelf; John is annoyed but quietly settles for a bottle of coke. Sorry, I meant to say bottles. Dr. Itunu also buys all the Power Horse too.

It’s the 2^nd class and Rume realizes that he has not said anything today. He makes a comment and the anointing begins to travel in class. Hands are flying up from every corner. Tokunbo and Dami discuss rigorously at the back and Tokunbo shoots his hands up, even with a thousand hands up, the facilitator chooses Tokunbo. Temijopelo follows suit and the facilitator is tempted to tell the class to give her a standing ovation.

Lunch time is here and Olaolu suddenly realizes that the operations model for the cafeteria is faulty. Suberu buys 5 portions of salsa rice, 3 portions of beans and no protein. Beans na protein naa! Chinasa frowns her face as she says ENJOY!!!. After lunch, the clock slowly winds down and Ikeola gazes periodically at the class clock. Some elements are dozing in class but I won’t mention names, they know themselves. Gbemi finally bursts into life and makes a comment meant for Friday’s case. (*Don’t mess with Gbemi, she is always ahead of the pack*) Then Whizkid takes over, and then Jude, Uddie, Dr. Itunu and it’s now a Group 5 affair. Pelu, Fiyin, Niyi, Bolarinwa, Ikeola and John did not say a word today. Class participation does not really matter jareeh.

MBA 10 Supporters League Chaired by Bishop Toks!
Dammy, Pelumi, Chukwuka, Ibude, Tokunbo and Rume

No career session today and Jude tries to rally the troops. Training starts, Gozie gingers and the basket catches 3 balls at the end of the day. I score a spectacular volley from 30 yards after much persuasion to shoot from Jude and Kunle. Oyewale misses a sitter and that sums up training for the day. Time to go home, I long for a massage but I don’t get any (Tundun is with Chukwuka, Nana is home, Toyin is reading “How to make money from manure” and Tolu will post me). Dinner is served, Omolayo explains what the facilitator said in the 3^rd session and I finally crash by 10/11pm.

Tomorrow is another day!

Segun Adebayo is a full time MBA student at Lagos Business School he can be reached via email; segun.adebayo@lbs.net.ng